Toya Talks- HOPE
Vol. 1
This four letter word. Small in form but heavy in weight. It’s the thing that keeps us going. The desire to take one more breath, step and try. It’s the reality that things are not where I want them to be but know this place is not forever. It’s the radiation of joy in what is yet to come.
As an educator, I have had my share of hopeless days. Am I making an impact? Do the students care? What is the point? Pouring into the life of others is not for the faint of heart and it can cause you to question is it worth it? But then one day a student leaves you a note thanking you for the care and compassion you have shown them. Now their actions up until that point may not have reflected they had such gratitude but on the inside something was changing. This moment for myself and I am sure for other educators, brings a smile across your face. A delight in the work you have been doing and answer to the question is it worth it. Hope
As a community leader, when I look at the state of neighborhoods, student academic achievement, violence, lack of community resources, I have evidence that I should not have hope. Understanding the work my family members have done and others alike to make the community a better place, the lingering question of, is it worth it?, creeps back up. But then, out running errands, I come across someone and they share how much the KC Keys Program changed their life and helped shape them into the person they were today. At this moment, the question is answered again. Hope
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. – Hebrews 11:1
The best days of Kansas City are yet to happen and because of this I have hope. Hope that small 1% gains that are happening across the city are culminating for success. This hope causes me to believe that my 1% daily investment is adding up and working in the lives of others. And even when I do not see, I believe it is happening by faith.
Each and every person has the ability to make a 1% difference in the lives of others. Through speaking a kind word, sharing resources, forgiving, listening, volunteering or even just healing ourselves, small actions can yield great gains.
In a time that is challenging, confusing and at times crazy, have hope! You matter, our community matters and our future matters!
Today, take time and reflect on how you can make a 1% investment into uplifting yourself and others around you. Have hope, we have not seen it yet, but our best is yet to come.
LaToya Johnson
Kansas City Keys, President
Toya Talks- Freedom
Vol. 2
As I reflect on Juneteenth and the significance of freedom that was delayed though it was rightfully granted, I reflect on my own life and the freedom that the Lord gave me but through life experiences and choices, it was delayed though it was rightfully mine.
I accepted Christ at the age of 8 at St. Stephen Baptist Church. I knew early on that I wanted to be a soldier in the Lord’s army. I received freedom through salvation sealed forever. Ready to be free. But around that same time, I was sexually assaulted. I still cannot fully express the change those experiences did to me but I know it did not feel like freedom. What was rightfully mine, was now delayed.
Honor society student, All-State in Basketball, 3rd Place AAU Nationals finalist, arguably one the best players in my class in MO (class of 2007), yet I have no offers from colleges. All those hours in the gym, in my studies, disciplining myself to be a model teammate, “what was it all for?”. My passion to give basketball one more try landed me at Jefferson College Community College. I passed the ACT, “why am I here?”. But I was there, I worked hard, I gave up relationships and put my all into school and basketball in hopes of landing where I rightfully earned.
It paid off, I was offered several scholarships from top D-1 schools. This was it, this was my time. I took my talents to the University of Louisville. I make it, starting, contributing to my teammate. I got a major concussion that sidelined me for the end of preseason. Being optimistic that the season had not begun, I am focused on being the resilient Toya in KY. The season is off to a shaky start, but I knew things would take a turn and then it takes a screeching halt. I hate not playing and in one game, I asked the coach to take me out. Later I found out I had a stress fracture in the neck of my femur. If I had damaged it further, I would have had to have a hip replacement (at 21!) WTF! My world went from being upright and bright to the dark and in the pitts.The lingering effects of concussions and my hip injury, my basketball dreams were diminished. What was rightfully mine, was not just delayed, it was over.
With basketball in my rearview, degree in hand, I was always a studious person, I dived into academics. I knew I could do well at this, but in what exactly. Athletic training, physical therapy counseling.. Nope, nope, nope. Turns out my heart was in education. No surprise really, but I wish I would’ve had that epiphany in undergrad. But more than being an educator, I was really ready for my life “to begin”. In that life, I have a career, marriage, and kids, you know all the things that give you value, make you free. No more delay.
Being the linear, ambitious and good catch that I am, I do those things. But wait, having these things all should be good. It seemed good and even felt good. But what happens when they are not? What happens when abuse of all kinds shocks, scars, and stifles you. Leaving you to make a heavy eternal choice of divorce. I thought this was my freedom. But I guess this was just a delay.
Raising two beautiful girls, out of money, house and peace of mind. Lord, “do you care? I thought all who come to you will be saved!” I do not feel safe, saved or set free. “HELP ME!” I cried this prayer over and over and over. I didn’t want to be here. This was too much. Yeah this is a delay for sure.
But like God, he works in his own timing, a perfect timing. Surrounded by an amazing community, I began to take small breaths that slowly turned into normal breaths and eventually deep breathing. Breaths that kept me going.
Here I am today, with two masters, I’ll probably get my Ph.D. one day (because I love school and why not!) president of the Kansas City Keys, mother, daughter and friend. My dreams, my freedom has yet to be realized, but that’s the thing, my freedom is in the journey.
My entire life I believed that receiving the “thing” was the essence of freedom and anything else was a delay. My value was based on what I have and accomplished and not who I belong to (Christ). But He who sets you free is free indeed (John 8:36). That’s the past, present and future. The journey with God is freedom.
Just as those who waited two long years to know they were already free, feeling as if they had no value, no hope, no freedom, I pray that in your waiting season you may know you are already free. No delay, no doubt, not denial. He who set you free has caused you to be free indeed!
Freedom is now! Live in it. One breath at a time.
Always with a smile,
Toya, a freedwoman